


Redo from Start

by CandyCanine



Series: Do Androids dream of electric sheep [2]
Category: Fallout 3
Genre: F/M, Temporary Character Death, resurrection into an android body
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:07:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28875435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyCanine/pseuds/CandyCanine
Summary: Human life is fragile, and although Harkness knew from the beginning he would outlive the woman he loves, the reality is no easier to bear. He doesn't want to let go but there's nothing anyone could do. But sometimes, miracles happen.
Relationships: Harkness/Female Lone Wanderer
Series: Do Androids dream of electric sheep [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2117589
Kudos: 1





	Redo from Start

Harkness had known it would someday come to this. They had talked about it, now and again, and even though he had tried to ignore that particular topic Janice had insisted that they did not shy away from it.   
He would outlive her. Yes, he had known that; and even though there was absolutely no help for it, occasionally it would drive him up the wall. He did not want to lose her. 

And now he had lost her. All but lost her, even though her eyes were still trained on his face. He had not been fast enough. Lightning reflexes and a dead sure aim had not saved her, because he had been inside and had come too late to save her. The guards on the drawbridge had noticed the fight at Anacostia station, and when they had realised that it was Talon mercs they had alerted him because that could only mean they were after Janice.   
And he had come too late. Janice had already been lying with her face in the dirt when he had rounded the corner screaming like a demon, and now he stared at her bloodied face as he knelt in the gravel with her body in his arms. Blood was soaking the dusty ground beneath them. He had known that he was doomed to lose her someday, but... not so soon. God, why so soon?

“Janice...” He ran a cautious hand through her hair. “Hold on, darling.” He hoisted her into his arms and slowly stood up, suppressing an all too human shudder at the sight of the ground where she had been lying.   
On his way to the drawbridge he met Preston who came running with his emergency kit, but upon seeing Janice’s injuries he faltered.   
“Do something”, Harkness barked. “Do something! Don’t just stand there!”  
“Harkness.” The doctor let his eyes wander down Janice’s body. “I don’t think there’s anything I can do for her anymore.”

Gritting his teeth Harkness suppressed the urge to drop her and break Preston’s neck. True, you didn’t need any medical knowledge to realise that the wound she had in her guts where she’d been hit by a grenade was fatal. Only the armour she wore had saved her from dying immediately. But he refused to accept it. He couldn’t just let her die.  
“Do something.” He stared at Preston with burning eyes. “You gotta do something. There’s got to be something!”  
Preston shook his head. “The only thing I can do is give her some painkillers to make it easier for her.”  
“No.” Harkness shook his head like a stunned animal. “I can’t give her up like that.” And with that, a part of his android brain suddenly supplied him with the solution. He spun around and hurried past Preston as fast as he could.   
“Where are you going?”, Preston snapped, yet when he realised where Harkness was going he felt a deep, unpleasant suspicion rise up in him and followed the security chief as fast as he could. 

Harkness had already kicked the door to the broken-off bough open by the time Preston had caught up with him.  
“Harkness, for god’s sake, what are you doing?”  
“I’m saving her live.”  
Shaking his head Preston followed him and sincerely hoped that he was wrong and if he wasn’t, then that the old coot Pinkerton would be able to talk sense into Harkness, one way or the other.

“What’s all this?”, Pinkerton snapped as Harkness staggered into his laboratory with Janice in his arms and Preston in tow.  
“Save her!” Harkness yelled at him and dropped Janice off onto the cot. “You got to save her!”  
Pinkerton walked over and looked at Janice who was barely breathing anymore. She had passed out shortly after Harkness had gathered her into his arms.   
“I hate to tell you this, Harkness, but there’s nothing I can do for her”, Pinkerton said, surprisingly gently. “I’m sure the doctor here told you the same.”  
“You’re lying”, Harkness hissed through gritted teeth. “Janice has talked about what she’s been doing with you here. About Braun’s data that she collected in Vault 112. About your experiments. You’ve got to save her!”

Pinkerton paled visibly and shook his head. “Harkness, for god’s sake, we were only experimenting on molerats! There’s no guarantee this will work! Don’t do this to her!”  
“I can’t let her die!” Harkness almost screamed and suddenly pulled his weapon, priming it on him. “You will save her now!”  
“Harkness!” Preston took a step forward but Harkness swung the gun around and pointed it at him. “And you will help him! You’re a doctor! You have to keep her body alive long enough for Pinkerton to do what he must!”  
With understanding suddenly dawning on him, Preston slowly lifted his hands. “Harkness, for god’s sake, man, this is madness!”  
Harkness cocked the weapon with a growl. “I don’t care! I will not lose her like that!”

Pinkerton and Preston exchanged a glance and realised that they were dealing with the soul of a madman inside an android’s body. Shaking his head and visibly nervous, Preston took a step towards the cot and Pinkerton took a deep breath and turned around to activate the machinery behind him.   
“Harkness”, he said when he turned around again holding two strings of sensor cables. “I am sure this is not what she would have wanted.”  
“She didn’t want to die”, Harkness gave back in a dark voice.   
Pinkerton and Preston exchanged another glance and, looking at Harkness and his weapon, realised they had no choice but to do this. They could only hope, for Janice’s sake, that it would go wrong and she would simply die in the process.

Harkness stood beside the cot, taut as a bowstring and weapon trained on the two doctors as they worked; Preston trying to keep her bodily functions running and Pinkerton connecting a lot of sensors to her head with needles that he inserted into her scalp. Shaking his head with a glance at Harkness from the corner of his eye he then switched the apparatus on and stood back. Janice’s body twitched.

“You got to hold her stable!” Pinkerton snapped.  
“That’s easy for you to say”, Preston replied muttering under his breath while he cautiously injected a stimulant into her veins.   
Harkness still stood there watching them, his face a rigid mask of barely controlled anguish.

Janice’s body twitched again.

“I’m losing her!”, Preston yelled, but at that moment the machine behind Pinkerton emitted a howling beep. With hasty movements Pinkerton took a strange looking device that remotely resembled a disc from a stack on the table beside him and inserted it into a slot in the machine. Moments later the machine spat the disc out again and Pinkerton took it out with a nod. “I’m done, Preston. Let her go.”

Preston nodded and stood back, but Janice had already stopped twitching and her arms slowly slid down off the cot, her hands dangling lifelessly beside it.  
Harkness swallowed heavily and took a step forward, lowering the rifle. Staring down at her body, a shattered, empty husk, he shook his head. 

Pinkerton placed the disc, or storage device, or whatever it was, on the table again. “And now?”  
Harkness looked up at him. “Now I will take her with me.”  
Preston took a step back and looked back and forth between the two.   
“With you?” Pinkerton looked at the disc. “And what will you do with it?”  
“Her. I will take her with me.” His voice was so dark and strained it was hardly recognisable. “And you will do it, Pinkerton. You will implant this into my memory so she will be with me forever.”  
Pinkerton dropped his arms and stared at Harkness as if the latter had lost his mind. “No.”  
Harkness cocked the gun again and pointed it straight at Pinkerton’s head. “Now.”

“Implant her?” Preston stared at Harkness like a dumbstruck idiot before his brain suddenly put everything together and made sense of this. 

“No.” Pinkerton crossed his arms again and straightened up. “I’ve had my doubts about this, but that, I won’t do. Think, man! She was a human. A human soul. But to be a part of your minor memory circuits? I don’t even know it this has worked properly, but if it has? Do you want to trap her soul into your memory modules forever?”

Harkness’ facial expression wavered and he slowly began to lower the rifle. 

“And what will you do when the poor, tortured soul screams in wordless agony for deliverance for centuries in your brain? Will you shut her up? Will you delete her last traces? Harkness... for god’s sake, if this has worked, and I really hope it hasn’t, you can’t do this to her.”

Harkness was about to speak, but he suddenly shook himself like a wet dog and lifted the gun again. “Give her to me. Now.”  
“No.” Pinkerton reached for the disc, and Harkness launched himself at it simultaneously. He careened into Pinkerton and knocked the table over, but in falling Pinkerton had grabbed the disc and now hammered it into the steel plated ground. It shattered with a crunch before Harkness was on his feet.  
“NO!” Harkness grabbed him by the shoulders and tried to strangle him, but Pinkerton just hung limp and stared at him.   
“Harkness!” Preston yelled and hurried to his side. 

As suddenly as the maddening rage had taken hold of him it was gone again and Harkness let go of Pinkerton with a sound that was something between a growl and a sob. Taking a step back he stared first at the shattered disc in Pinkerton’s hands and then at Janice’s lifeless, bloodless body. 

“Harkness”, Preston said to him after checking that Pinkerton was more or less alright. “Harkness, for god’s sake. She was a human, and she can handle death. But she couldn’t have handled being trapped in the lower recesses of...” He faltered. “...of an android brain, Pinkerton’s dead right with that. You would have destroyed every good memory you ever had of her. She’s dead, and I’m sorry... but death is a part of life. You have to let her go.”

After staring wordlessly at Preston for an eternity, Harkness slung his rifle onto his back again and walked over to the cot. And after staring at her lifeless face for another long, long while he finally gathered her up again and left the laboratory without saying a word, his shoulders hunched tight.

Pinkerton and Preston exchanged a long glance after the former had struggled onto his feet again.

“I admit I’m impressed, Pinkerton. It took some serious balls to stand up to him like that.”  
“Huh.” Pinkerton rolled his shoulders. “I’m old enough. Lived far longer already than I should have, by rights. And while I might be a bastard when it comes to my research I do have some scruples left.”

Preston bent down and picked up the shattered disc. 

“What do you want with that now?”

Preston shrugged and slipped it into a pocket before gathering up his equipment. “I have the feeling this should be interred with her. Don’t ask me why.”

Pinkerton raised the table up again with an angry grunt and picked up the other discs that had been scattered all over the place. Having done that he checked on his machinery and, with a shake of his head, switched it off. “I told her to keep her mouth shut about this”, he said thoughtfully after a moment.  
Preston took his bag and cast him a worried look. “Maybe you should end these experiments.”  
Pinkerton returned that look with narrowed eyes. “I already have.”

* * *

It was almost four months later when the Railroad people showed up at Pinkerton’s door again, three of them with Victoria in the lead and the other two carrying a large, wrapped bundle. Pinkerton wasn’t particularly happy to see them as he would rather avoid androids for the time being, but the scientist in him could simply not resist. 

As it turned out, however, this one was beyond repair. While fleeing, she – for a female android it was – had been hit by a load of pulse grenades, and while the Railroad had hoped Pinkerton would be able to restore her, he had to disappoint them. He could repair her circuits and restore the software, but all of her consciousness, her personality you could say if she had been human, her soul, if you would, had been thoroughly deleted by the pulse charges. Pinkerton had repaired her body, but she was an empty husk. Undamaged, and still as dead as Janice when she had shed her last drops of blood a couple of months ago on the very same cot.

When Victoria asked him what was wrong with him upon seeing his facial expression, he told her what had happened to Janice and what had happened in this laboratory afterwards. 

“I am sure you did the right thing”, Victoria said with a sad shake of her head. “It is a shame that we didn’t find the android here before that had happened. Do you think you could have transferred her?”

Pinkerton stared at the lifeless android whose open and completely empty eyes were as disturbing as the stillness of her perfectly undamaged body. “Damned if I know”, he said after a while. “But it might have worked. Not that it’s of any use, because I’ve destroyed the disc. I couldn’t let Harkness have it.”  
“No”, Victoria replied. “May she rest in peace.”  
Pinkerton cast a wistful look at the stack of storage discs on the table and the suddenly narrowed his eyes. Then he took a step forward and stared at them for another while. “Jesus fucking Christ on a fucking piece of toast...”  
“Doctor?”   
Pinkerton extended a finger. “See that?” Four of the discs bore a black stripe on the narrow side, but the same stripe on the fourth one at the bottom of the stack was white. “I’ll be fucking damned.” Then he chuckled hoarsely. “Maybe I already am.” He picked up the disc with the white stripe.  
Victoria still stared at him with that confused frown deepening.  
Pinkerton held up the storage device with a crooked and almost crazy grin. “I destroyed the wrong disc.”

Victoria took a step back and looked at her two fellow Railroad members who kept on looking back and forth between her, Pinkerton and the dead android. Almost ten minutes passed without any of the four saying a single word. 

Finally Victoria plucked up courage and took a deep breath. “Should we risk it?”  
Pinkerton glared at her. “I swore to myself these insane experiments are over, Miss Watts.”  
Victoria slowly leaned forward. “But we could... save a life.”  
“She’s beyond saving”, Pinkerton scoffed. “She died, for fuck’s sake. I’ve no way of knowing if what is on this disc really is her, just an imprint of her memories, or nothing at all. Worst case scenario is it is her and I implant her into the android and she can’t handle it and goes raving mad.”  
“But Harkness could handle it”, Victoria gave back. “And he’d been trapped in a disc for god knows how long. Most likely pre-war times, and all he felt was he’d been in a coma.”  
Pinkerton took a deep breath.  
“It’s your choice”, Victoria went on. “But you have to do something about that disc, anyway.”  
“I do.” Pinkerton shook his head. “Fuck, I do.”

Another long silence followed his last words. 

“Well.” Pinkerton walked over to the machinery and switched it on before inserting the disc into it again. “I’m most likely damned already anyway. But we have to have a backup plan for when she’s going mad. Anyone of you has a pulse grenade left over?”  
One of the men in Victoria’s attendance dug into a pocket. “I do”, he said hesitatingly. “’Cause you never know when you run into one of the Hunters what are after the poor Runners, after all.”

Pinkerton nodded. “Take it and place yourself right beside her head. Hold the thing into her face. Prepare yourself, and if I say so, pull out the pin immediately. I will patch up any burns you might receive from the charge. We can’t risk her going mad on us, not in an android body. We have only one second. Do you understand?”  
The man swallowed visibly and audibly but nodded. “Yes.” He walked over to the cot and held the pulse grenade over her head, fingers curled tightly around the safety pin.

“Okay.” Pinkerton pressed a button and pulled a long cable out of the machine which he connected to a slot in the android’s head. “Ready?”  
The man with the pulse grenade nodded.  
“Good. May god forgive me, and Janice too, if this goes wrong.” He pulled the switch.

Seconds later the android began to twitch and toss her head. Then she lay still again.

“Doctor?”  
Pinkerton looked at the display on one of the three monitors of the machinery. “Not yet.” Another moment passed and the android twitched again. The machine beeped. “Here we go”, Pinkerton rasped and spun around.

The android opened her eyes.

Nothing else happened.

Pinkerton and Victoria exchanged a worried look before the latter walked cautiously over to the cot. The man with the pulse grenade was still standing poised and ready, his temples moist.   
“Janice?”, Victoria asked hesitatingly. “Janice?”

The android’s eyes swivelled towards her face, wide and transfixed. 

“Janice? Are you there? Can you hear me?”

In absolute slow motion, the android lifted a hand and moved her eyes to stare at it.

“Janice?”

The android blinked. Then she moved her head again to look at Victoria. “I had a dream...”, she whispered.  
“I thought it was a dream.”  
Victoria swallowed. “What did you dream?”  
“I dreamed I was dead”, was the reply, still in a toneless whisper. “Everything was blue and white. What happened? What is wrong with me?”  
“Janice...” Victoria swallowed. “Do you remember anything?”  
“Anything of what?”  
“Of... before your... coma.”  
“Coma.” The android frowned. “Death. Talon mercs. I remember the Talons. One of them had a grenade.”  
Victoria nodded after exchanging a quick glance with Pinkerton and receiving a nod from him. “Yes, Talon mercs. Anything after that?”  
A shake of the head. “No. Pain. And...” She suddenly shot upright, making the man beside her head jump as she knocked the pulse grenade right out of his hands. “Paul! Where is he? Paul Harkness? Where is he?”  
“Shht!” Victoria put a hand onto her shoulder. “It’s all right. He’s in Rivet City proper. You’re in Pinkerton’s lab.”  
The android that seemed to be Janice shook her head. “What has happened to me? I feel... strange. Cold. This is...”  
“Janice.”

She looked up at the sound of the name and Victoria slowly began to believe that it really was Janice in there.

“Your body was damaged beyond repair. You... I guess you could say you died. But Pinkerton managed to transfer you into... into an android’s body. She had died, too, from a pulse grenade.”  
Janice swallowed and stared at her hands again. “I died?” She turned her hands and stared at her palms. “Android? But I feel...” Another shake of her head. “An Android?” Then she cautiously moved her hands up and hesitatingly patted her face. “But...”  
Pinkerton stepped in beside her. “Do you think you can live like that, Janice?”

Janice blinked up at him after letting her hands fall down again. “Live? I mean... do I have a choice?”  
Pinkerton chuckled dryly and without humour. “You always have a choice. If you don’t want to be a robot, we’ll set off a pulse grenade and you’re gone for good.”  
Janice flinched back. “I don’t want to die!”  
“No one wants to die”, Pinkerton gave back. “The question is, can you live like this?”  
Janice stared at her hands again. “I don’t know. But...” She took a deep breath. “I can breathe. I can feel my heart beat... is that a servo motor? I can... my voice sounds strange...”  
“We can do something about that”, Pinkerton replied. “And we can do facial surgery. I still have your data from the little nose job I gave you. No one will see the difference.”  
Janice shook her head again. “Where’s Paul? Paul Harkness?”

“In Rivet City”, Pinkerton said. “But he thinks you’re dead. I’m not telling him anything before you’re sure you’re up for this.”  
Janice let herself fall back and lifted her arms again to stare at her hands. “I am... alive.” She waggled her feet. “I can control this body.” Then she closed her eyes. “I can... see him. Remember him. I need to see him!” She shot upright again.  
“Easy now.” Pinkerton put a hand onto her shoulder. “Easy. I could imagine you want to look like you used to, and that you want to get used to this body first.”  
Janice nodded slowly.  
“Get up to speed”, Pinkerton said. “I’ll set you up with your old face, and maybe I can do something about the voice, too. Miss Watts will in the meantime go to Rivet City and find a way to prepare the Chief for your... resurrection.”  
Staring at him, Janice could only nod.

* * *

She was surprisingly at home in this body. It still felt like she was wearing armour sometimes, as if she was far heavier than she should be, but all in all, she could do this. And the circuits, modules and operating system of this highly advanced AI accommodated her human emotions well enough for her to feel a churning in her belly and a clenching sensation of pain there when she made her way to Rivet City attended by Viccy and her two Railroad companions. 

“What did you tell him?”  
“Everything.” That Pinkerton destroyed the wrong disc. That we found a dead android. That he was able to transfer you. That you are alive.”

Janice tried not to grit her teeth. He had believed her to be dead for months. How would he react when he would see her again? Would he still love her or had he deleted her memories to avoid having to deal with the pain? Would he really do that?

He was waiting for them at the bottom of the ramp leading up to the drawbridge. Janice saw him and faltered. He saw her and dropped his gun. Before Janice could even react he had set off and sped up to her, clamped his arms around her and lifted her off the ground, spinning her around before setting her down again. His cheeks were wet when he stared into her face.

“Janice...” His voice was a hoarse whisper.  
“Paul...” Janice didn’t know what to say.  
He ran a hand through her hair. “You really are alive.”  
“In a sense of the word.”  
He chuckled and blinked away a few more tears while running a tender hand across her cheek. “I missed you.”  
Janice hesitatingly returned the gesture. “I’m back.”  
Closing his eyes he leaned into her touch. “You’re back. And I shall not lose you again.” With these words he closed his arms around her again and pulled her close. “I still can’t believe it. You are back... and as an android, to boot...” He shook his head with a smile of disbelief. 

“Just like you”, Janice replied while running a hand through her hair. “I admit I’m still not completely used to all this but... but it’s rather fascinating.”  
Harkness chuckled again. “It’s typical you that you’d be the only human soul not going mad after being transferred into an android just because you’re too scientifically fascinated by the whole process.”  
Finally Janice had to chuckle as well. “It is fascinating. I wonder what else I can do with this body.”

Harkness leaned closer and smiled at her under lowered lids and android body or no, Janice could feel her heart beat pick up speed and closed her eyes when he pulled her close again. She melted into his arms while feelings both remembered and presently perceived tried to match up in her mind. He leaned back upon noticing her slight discomfort.

“What are we going to do now?”, Janice asked in a low whisper. “I don’t know this body half as well as I should...”  
“You will”, he gave back, in a whisper as well. “Give it time.”  
She snuggled her face against his neck with a sigh. “I hope so.”  
Harkness held her tight and placed a kiss onto her temple. “Janice?”  
“Hm?” She looked up at him.   
“Initialise sequence alpha one seven”, he whispered, with a slow smile. “Seven nine, code red.”  
Janice felt a burst of heat crack through her body as if she’d just been electrocuted and could not stop herself from slinging her arms around his neck. Harkness returned the embrace and their lips met in a passionate, soul devouring kiss.


End file.
